I've been around... Well, all right, I might not've been around, but I've been... nearby.

Sometimes when I get bored, I make up scenarios in my head. Like, "What if I'd been born in a third world country," or "What if my dog could talk," or "What if my feet weren't so huge." Does anyone else do this?

Lately one that's been roaming around my head is, "What if I was single—where would I meet people to date?" (And Jeremy, to be clear—I don't want to be single!) Because I look around, and there's not much out there that I run into in my day-to-day life. I spend a great deal of time commuting, which is, first of all, a weird way to meet people. Second of all, there are probably two single men under the age of 40 that ride the VRE. And thirdly, I'd have to abandon my much-beloved "Quiet Car" for a regular car, thus subjecting myself to numerous loud and inane cell phone conversations. All this assuming that I would actually go up and speak to a stranger (which, as those of you who know me know, would really never happen).

Then there's walking the dog. It is a great way to meet people who already have a dog (something in common!). But assuming my fictional single self would be living the same place my happily married (see, Jeremy?) self is living, I'd meet mostly stay-at-home moms and single women with little girly dogs. It is a plus that I have a friendly, non-girly, able-to-roughhouse dog that I imagine would appeal to a lot of guys. On the downside, about 50% of the time I'm out walking Tilly, I'm also holding a bag of poop. Which may appeal to some guys...but not guys my lovely fictional self would want to meet!

Then there's church. Sadly, it seems that most churches that have active singles groups are also the huge mega-churches that tend to be on the conservative side (I could throw in a snide comment about how it's hard to attract a mate around here when you're slightly to the right of Attila the Hun, but I wouldn't do that).

Work? Fraught with difficulties, of course: policies about fraternization, the whole "what if we break up but I still have to make his copies" thing...and, once again, assuming there's someone around that you'd actually want to date.

So, what's a fictional single girl to do? I guess she'd turn to the internet. I haven't been single since the eHarmonys and Match.coms of the world became mainstream, and I have to admit I'm incredibly curious what they'd come up with for me (I mean, fictional single me). I'm doubtful that they would put me and Jeremy together, although I have at least two friends who met their spouses this way. It's an unknown world to me, and always will be.

So the conclusion I've come to? Fictional Single Mary would be...the Cat Lady. Except with a dog. And bigger feet.