Life is a bore I always say.

Dear "Real World,"

There's no easy way to say this. We've been apart for a while now and, well...I think I'm just better off without you. I'm like a different person -- taking helicopter rides, going on sunset sails, attending luaus, drinking before noon -- and I haven't worn long pants in weeks!

You and I, we were just going through the motions. After some time passes, I think you'll realize that you're better off as well. It's not you, it's...

Oh, who am I kidding? It's totally you! You suck. Hard.

Please don't call me anymore.

With Disdain,
Mary