I think I killed a duck!

Some tidbits from our recent trip to Stockholm & London:

How Not to Behave as an American Abroad...or, "Get away from me before people realize I'm not Canadian, you obnoxious freak."

Since it was August recess for Parliament (those wacky Brits - they steal everything from us), Jeremy and I were able to do a full tour of the Houses of Parliament. In our tour group was a large man, with a large camera, who wanted to talk to everyone. That's fine. Be friendly. But at some point, you should just shut up.

• Asking the small child in front of you if she wanted to run for Parliament one day, when she was actually from St. Vincent and the Grenadines?
  
• Asking us where we're from, then proclaiming, "Hey, I know that place - no poor people live there!" WTF?
  
• "Subtly" acting the know-it-all by asking questions such as: "Isn't it true that [insert non-related and obscure British history fact here]?"
  
• And, my favorite - when I try to be friendly and tell you about our trip to Sweden, and you ask if the groom or the bride was Swedish, and I say the groom, and YOU say, "All those beautiful Swedish women, and he marries an American?"And I say, rather snarkily, "Well, she's beautiful too," and you still keep talking to me?
  

Just. Shut. Up.

Experiencing Flying into Reagan National Airport through the Eyes of a Geeky UK Adolescent...or, "Wedgies transcend continents, don't they?"

He was sitting behind us, and honestly quite a sweet boy (even though you knew he probably spent a lot of time with his underwear pulled over the back of his head). The older lady sitting next to him, who was American and not traveling with him, kept patiently answering his questions and trying to point out the sites. My favorite moments:

• Him mistaking an apartment complex for the Pentagon--then calling out "Pentagon, Pentagon!" in this lovely cockney accent when we actually did fly over it a few minutes later
• The lady sitting next to him thought he said, "I haven't seen any mountains," to which she tried to explain that DC is not a mountainous area, to which he replied, "No, no, Mountain Dew. I haven't seen any Mountain Dew yet."
• Anyone who has flown into Reagan knows how close you get to the river and the monuments. At one point, as we approached the runway, he cries out, "We might have to ditch!"

Other sites seen during our trip include Skansen (think Colonial Williamsburg meets zoo meets gift shop), Stockholm City Hall (lovely but disappointingly young in age--built 1911), Westminster Abbey (with audio tour narrated by Jeremy Irons--think Scar from The Lion King saying, "Welcome to Westminster Abbey,"), the Tower of London (complete with Beefeater named "Dickey"), the British Museum (eww, mummies!), and Avenue Q (Wow. Those puppets are having sex.)

All that, and somehow the only souvenirs we came home with were clothes from the Gap (it was hotter than we expected in London and we hadn't packed correctly), some Christmas ornaments ("Look, cute little Danish people!" I exclaimed, to which Jeremy replied, "Um, I think they're probably Swedish,") and a moose in a Swedish scarf. Using our extremely limited Swedish vocabulary, we named him Hiss Tack (Elevator Thank You).

It was a lovely vacation...but next time, I think we're due for a"lie on the beach and drink margaritas" holiday.