I'm just a girl from a trailer park who had a dream.

Oscar time is almost upon us! Past highlights of my Oscars wardrobe can be found here and here. 

This year’s Oscar dress options:

Option 1. Gucci, $8,800.

Because when you’ve recently had a baby, you want…nay, crave…midriff cutouts. And Manolo Blahnik ($765):

Option 2. Oscar de la Renta, $8,690.

I know what you’re thinking: Really? A mullet dress??

Normally I would agree, but I love the color and structure of this one. Plus, when you’re imaginarily 6 feet tall, you want to show off those gams! Not to mention these fabulous Oscar de la Renta shoes ($1,290):

Option 3. Carolina Herrera, $9,990.

I’ve always wanted to rustle when I walk. This looks like it would do the trick. And how about some more Manolo Blahnik ($1,030):

Decisions, decisions...