Sell Me This Pen!

It’s that time of year again…Imaginary Oscar Dress Decision Time!

Last year, it was Zac Posen and Bradley Cooper:

My dress will likely be a game-time decision (as will my date), but here are the candidates:

Going for Glamour

David Meister Signature ($2,650)

I love the slight shine and the satin belt.

Valentino ($25,000)

Pink, frilly, and girlie. To quote Captain Hammer, “Not my usual, but nice.”

Going for Sex Appeal

Stella McCartney ($5,200)

Sort of “Tron Meets the Prom.” No word on whether the belt doubles as an Identity Disc.

Jason Wu ($4,785)

If you’re going to wear black to the Oscars, it’s gotta be spectacular (more like “Jason Wooooo!”)

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The dress is even more important this year, as I am nominated in the following categories:

Best Song – for “impromptu shower performance of ‘On My Own’ from Les Mis (deemed ‘confused head tilt-worthy’ by the Household Canine Association)”

Best Imaginary Reaction – for “upon seeing girl running on treadmill with t-shirt pulled up for the sole purpose of showing off her abs, Mary hops on the treadmill next to her, pulls up her own t-shirt, and trudges alongside, her pregnant belly bouncing and wobbling out front.”

Fingers crossed!