The ratio of people to cake is too big.

I have spent the better part of the last week as the sole effective communicator in an IT/Writer-Editor/IT sandwich.  An example:

IT 1: The apples are rotten. We need bananas.

IT 2: The apples aren’t rotten. We shouldn’t need bananas.

IT 1: Why do you refuse to buy bananas? That means I’ll have to go out of my way to buy kiwis to bypass the rotten apples.

IT 2: Kiwis are ridiculous. And the apples aren’t rotten.

IT 1: Well, I agree the kiwis are ridiculous. You really should just buy the bananas.

IT 2: I don’t see why we should have to buy bananas.

Mary: mutters string of curse words under her breath

 I have sent several emails that start with “IT 1, I think what IT 2 means is…” Future emails may include such wisdom as, “You know, sentences really should have both a noun and a verb,” and, “If you don’t pick up the phone and talk to each other, I’m going to find a way to upload really graphic pornography to your federal government website.” (Sidebar to the NSA on that last one: I wouldn’t actually do that).

Still, even on days like today, with the frustrating IT mediation, Starbucks being out of regular bacon sandwiches and having to settle for turkey bacon, and spilling my coffee in spectacular, if-this-was-TV-they’d-show-it-in-slow-motion fashion, I must remember that, when commuting to my old job, a hobo once hit me with a newspaper. Funny how quickly our threshold for annoyance adapts to our situation…