I have spent the better part of the last week as the sole
effective communicator in an IT/Writer-Editor/IT sandwich. An example:
IT 1: The apples are rotten. We need bananas.
IT 2: The apples aren’t rotten. We shouldn’t need bananas.
IT 1: Why do you refuse to buy bananas? That means I’ll have to
go out of my way to buy kiwis to bypass the rotten apples.
IT 2: Kiwis are ridiculous. And the apples aren’t rotten.
IT 1: Well, I agree the kiwis are ridiculous. You really should
just buy the bananas.
IT 2: I don’t see why we should have to buy bananas.
Mary: mutters string of curse words under her breath
I have sent several
emails that start with “IT 1, I think what IT 2 means is…” Future emails may
include such wisdom as, “You know, sentences really should have both a noun and a verb,” and, “If you don’t pick up
the phone and talk to each other, I’m going to find a way to upload really
graphic pornography to your federal government website.” (Sidebar to the NSA on
that last one: I wouldn’t actually do that).
Still, even on days like today, with the frustrating IT
mediation, Starbucks being out of regular bacon sandwiches and having to settle
for turkey bacon, and
spilling my coffee in spectacular, if-this-was-TV-they’d-show-it-in-slow-motion
fashion, I must remember that, when commuting to my old job, a hobo once hit me
with a newspaper. Funny how quickly our threshold for annoyance adapts to our
situation…
