I am constantly amused by the side-panel advertisements on Facebook. I’m always getting offered great deals on waxing (not sure how to take that, BTW), or crap-tacular Clemson merchandise (no, I don’t need a bejeweled orange and purple sunhat, thanks). I also get tons of ads having to do with babies—I assume because people my age are procreating like crazy. My favorite ads, however, are the Living Social “Bucket List” ones.
The tagline is always “365 things to do in DC before you die,” although if I’m down south long enough the city changes to Greenville. I’ve never actually clicked on the link, but the tagline is always accompanied by one of several different images (and, as far as I can tell, they don’t vary based on the city). The image I see most often is of two people covered in mud and kissing. I don’t know where such things occur, but I do know that it strikes me as utterly disgusting. Who wants mud in their mouth? Or in…other places?
Another one I see quite often is of a girl in a bikini dancing with a chimp. Perhaps this is on the bucket list of, say, an acid-tripping schizophrenic, but again, this doesn’t appeal to me. (Food for thought: Googling “deadly chimp” results in 282,000 hits. If you must dance with a chimp, just be careful not to step on its foot.)
And finally, there is this image:
This one is perhaps the most inane of all. Sure, it’s cute, but what bucket list item is this fulfilling? Wrestling a piglet into some Wellies? That doesn’t sound fun, easy or life-enriching. Plus, I kind of feel sorry for the pig. Don’t pigs like mud? Why would you want to deny them one of the quintessential elements of their being?
In short, I think I’ll stick with my more traditional bucket list: seeing if I can knock out a pigeon by throwing a penny off a tall building; teaching my dog to speak so we can reenact classic Buffy moments; vanquishing my enemies; etc.
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