I spent most of the day finishing an uninspiring project
that had been hanging over my head for a long time. I needed to do something
silly this evening…so here it is: What should I wear to the “Oscars in My Head”
(was going to name them the ‘Mental Oscars,’ but realized that carried negative
(yet probably apt) connotations)?
Unfortunately, I am limited to Ready to Wear for my
selections (for some reason, designers aren’t scrambling to design an expensive
dress I can’t afford for the Oscars in my Head), although I did find some
vintage one-of-a-kind jewelry that I may mentally borrow.
Try not to let the creepy Photoshopping sway you (I’m just
grateful that Jeremy didn’t come home early and find me in full makeup and
pajama pants, taking pictures of myself without a shirt). Also, for a sizable fee, I am more than
willing to advertise your business on my forehead.
Option 1: Zac Posen Silk Faille Mermaid Gown ($4,990). Love
the springy color, and the way it hugs my imaginary body is amazing.
Fred Leighton vintage c. 1880 Rose Cut Diamond Floral
Clusters Convertible Necklace Tiara (since it is such a special piece, I’m imaginarily
sure they would only let me borrow it…so it’s free!)
Tango Stiletto Pumps by Valentino ($1,395). These are so
amazing; I’d wear them everywhere (keep an eye out, Target patrons)!
Option 2: Crepe V-Neck Lela Rose gown ($3,995). A more
classic look, which opens the way for flashy accessories. Also has a flattering
mid-torso gather, to give my imaginary size 0 body some curves.
Kendall Beaded Platform Pump by Jimmy Choo ($2,995). They look heavy, but it would be worth it. And
after the Mental Oscars, I’m sure that imaginary Bradley Cooper would be willing
to give me a foot massage (even if he wins the Oscar, he’d give up the Vanity
Fair after party for the sake of my feet. He’s that kind of imaginary guy).
Harry Winston NightLife diamond necklace ($168,000) and Open
Lattice diamond cuff (price on request…and I didn’t).
Option 3: Monique Lhullier ($10,590). A bit badass. Which,
you know, is totally my flavor (right? RIGHT????).
Diva Crystal Cutout Sandals by Jimmy Choo ($1,495). A pity
you wouldn’t really be able to see them…but I’d know they were there. And so
would imaginary Bradley Cooper.
Parentesi cocktail ring by Bulgari ($9,500).
So, what do you prefer? And more importantly, what do you think imaginary Bradley Cooper would prefer?
